Being defined...

Why as society - regardless of what country - do we as humans need to define, pigeon-hole, judge or assume people's backgrounds and place in society?

Here in Malawi we are often asked 3 main questions.

• What brings you here?
• Are you married?
• What church do you worship at?

But in answering these 3 questions, what I would like to point out is that these answers don't define who I am.

I am here because I enjoy working with disability, I enjoy grassroots project work and I like to work towards change.  It does not mean I am a missionary, nor does it mean I am brave, nor am I looking for praise but rather it is a path I have chosen to take because I love it. It empowers me to be a better person and enables those in need to receive devices to assist them in activities of daily living, integrating into society and in some cases reducing the impact and burden on family and community by giving them an opportunity to be independent.  If you are working in allied health on any level, within any society, we ideally are striving to assist in providing access to healthcare globally.  

Second question. No I am not married. No I am not a missionary.  No I do not want to marry you just because I smiled at you or spoke civilly to you.  No there is nothing wrong with me.  Yes I do realise I am 35 and that meeting people is the key to finding myself a husband. Yes I want children.  

Because I am not married I don't see myself as a failure but rather I am a strong independent woman, wanting a partner that compliments me in life.  I am still searching but I will not settle.  Next question??

It is safer here to say I grew up Catholic - which is true.  I attend church intermittently and believe there is a greater being.  But that is is open to interpretation.  Do I actually need to justify this?  My beliefs and connection are my own - no one elses.  I am content with that.

Whilst these 3 questions become repetitive and grate on ones patience, they do lead to a greater discovery of one's self.

We as a society, particularly Western society, place so much essence on career.  I have a degree, that whilst not globally recognised, has opened doors.  Doors that I have actively searched for and opened. I love that each of us can create our own destiny .  Sometimes we forget that and get caught up in the progression that is 'normal' for our careers.  But what is normal in global population that exceeds 7 billion?!

Secondly it is normal to want affection, life long connections and a partner that walks through life with you.  Whilst one craves for that and now that Prince Harry is off the market, it might be a longer journey for me, this isn't helped by individuals pointing out that 35 is an age where the biological clock ticks - thank you - I am aware of the lifespan of womanhood!  

What I have however realised is that I crave conversation, intellectual stimulation and like minded people in my life.  I look at my closest friends, many of which are miles away, but every time I see them our conversation goes through a range of tangents that stimulate my soul.  I struggle with superficial conversation and whilst necessary sometimes to get to the next level, why should we surround ourselves with people that don't feed our soul on all levels? It is for this reason that I cherish these conversations with dear friends and family regardless of the frequency and acknowledge that whilst single in an essence, I am for want of a better word blessed, with a variety of like minded souls.  Gratefulness is too easily forgotten sometimes.

Finally my search for a greater being is just that my search.  I don't ask you what your connection is to your God, nor do I try to convert you.  Your journey is your journey.  

In summary I am not defined.  I am me.  Like you are you.  I am here because I want to be,

We are all on this crazy journey yet different pathways, but in the words of Nelson Mandela, 'As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same'.

All the ... small things ...

I'm not going to lie.  Whilst I love Malawi it frustrates me on a number of levels. 

Whilst not a perfectionist, I like procedures and processes and things to run somewhat smoothly.  I have over time (that time is continuing as a life lesson) learnt to accept that things don't happen on time and that 'Malawi Time' like 'Islander Time' is a thing and just needs to be accepted.  Those that know me, know that I am by no means a patient person,  I continue to work on this.  Thank goodness for essential oils (frankincense particularly), deep breathing/meditation and calls from home and afar of my nearest and dearest to keep me going.

What I get frustrated at (and now humbly pay my respects and adoration for all mothers and parents out there) is having to say the same thing over and over again with no result.  Changing the language I use, demonstrating the impact , handing over ownership, reducing incentives, introducing incentives - I am nothing but innovative and resourceful. 

But many of these issues (i.e. littering, not cleaning, not seeing the wood for the trees, blind as bat - all of the possible cliches, sayings etc as well as the insane driving and no adherence to the law or rules is making me the next rally driver for sure - take on a minibus any day) are part of a culture, a way of life that has been around for years and supported and some what encouraged by Western ways. 

I am not going to get on my soap box, political rant or how 'we white people can change the world' but it has inspired me to utilise and encourage, particularly my staff, to use a wide range of communication skills to work towards small daily goals - much more achievable! A small win (e.g. the plinths are wiped down, I am told that stock is low before there is no stock etc etc) allow for small celebrations. 

These frustrations have also encouraged me to reflect on the impact I have had in the last 5 weeks.  Those that know me, know that I am not one to accept compliments or pat myself on the back, but change is change and change management is what I am in the thick of .  Combine that with language and cultural misunderstandings we are moving forward in a way that is reshaping the workplace to somewhat of its former glory.

I have however found myself saying however that I love being here and love being immersed within the culture once more and why I so emphatically enjoy this type of work.  I have reflected on why I can wholeheartedly say this despite the frustrations.

Driving to a number of places over the last couple of weeks I have taken time to breathe and to see the small things (or big things) that have kept me coming back to the 'Warm Heart of Africa' for almost 10 years.  There have been so many occasions where I wish I had pulled out my camera to capture these moments...

• Women walking along the road, laden with wood on their head for the home, bags full of shopping and children strapped to their backs
• Men huddled around a pool table or board game in the middle of the village
• Children playing with hand made kites, balls and games made out of shopping bags and string
• Goats huddled together out of the rain
• People of all ages bathing and washing on the shores of the lake
• A mother fish eagle teaching its young to hunt
• Market places where the buzz of trade, colour a plenty with the women's clothing and cloth and general hustle & bustle present itself
• Sunsets that go for miles
• Being part of a conversation and being able to respond in Chichewa

The most humbling however that bring me back time and time again are the children , adults and families we see with disability.  Their ability to survive in a tough environment and society.  The icing on the cake is seeing their faces smile as you step out of the car straight to them to give them the traditional Malawian welcome before any one else in the community.

Malawi whilst you bring me to tears some days, some days they are tears of joy.

Returning to the scene.....

I find myself back in Malawi, the warm heart of Africa, working again for 500 miles (www.500miles.co.uk).

My heart is happy as I walk through the door to familiar faces, clients anticipating the new sense of freedom and independence that orthotics and prosthetics bring to the individual, their families and the wider community.

This time being here is different.  So many changes yet so many things the same.  The opportunity for me to enhance the service delivery and build capacity is overwhelming yet it feels like home.  These types of roles is where I am meant to be .  Creating change, impacting the lives of those less fortunate but immersing myself within the culture, all be it minimally.  There is a long way to go and determining what can be achieved and sustained within a short time frame will be challenging.  But I am up for it!

My Chichewa is rusty but slowly coming back.  New phrases and the linguistics of it all rolling over my tongue bring me closer to being able to understand culturally and individually the necessities both for those within the clinic, staff and the wider community.  Friends and colleagues teaching me new phrases that at some point I will use correctly! Grass roots is where it is at!

But it's not all work and no play.  Within a few days of being in the country I managed to attend amazing feasts cooked by friends of old, fundraisers for Dzaleka refugee camp (where I also won a mini break to Likoma Island), mini trip south and have caught up with mentors and life long friends ensuring that the work life balance is almost complete.

There are new places, new infrastructure yet poverty and lack of amenities are still so prevalent.  My saving grace is that I only appear to have power cuts 2 nights a week - this I can plan for!  A structured powercut week means some planning has been established - small wins!  I am slowly becoming a whiz at one pot dishes with my 'cute' kitchen providing me with the basics required for wholesome cooking. 

The next few weeks ahead have a multitude of work challenges yet in between is a mini break at the beloved Lake Malawi in Senga Bay. 


Stay tuned for more stories!